I just did something peculiar.

I was going to make some mashed potatoes, as I am wont to do when the potatoes start to get ideas, and when I took the plastic bag out of the fridge, one of the potatoes rolled out onto the floor and made for the safety of the fridge.

"Hey!" I cried "Don't go under the fridge!"

Then I kind of looked around to see if anyone had seen me talk to a potato*.

These things worry me. I don't want to end up one of those guys you see in Safeway late at night, interrogating a package of pimento loaf.




* Of course, had this been a sentient, Self-Mashing Potato, this would have been perfectly acceptable behavior. Sadly, government funding for the SMP has been reduced to a trickle. The best the magical elves at Kafkaesque Labs have developed to date is a Self-Loathing Brussels Sprout.