Down by the river, I shot my baby.

These few simple words are of course synonymous with Big Music Fun. You've got a river. You've got your baby. You've got a gun. And did I mention that you're a bad man? You are. You're a bad man.

I would humbly submit, though, that the "shooting your baby down by the river" thing may need updating.

How about:

Waiting in line in the One Hour Photo place, I shot my baby
Down by Orange Julius, I shot my baby
In the Self-Help aisle at Borders, I shot my baby
After a discussion about the helpless duality of man before the prospect of an uncaring universe, I shot my baby
At a taping of Seventh Heaven, I shot my baby