Another exciting installment in the continuing Clamato Saga:

I received a response to the first kafkaesque-Clamato communique today. I really must commend them on their alacrity.

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To: kafkaesque@mediaone.net
Subject: ID No. #1,576,429

Thank you for writing. You ideas and comments will be shared. In making the
Clamato Juice, we use Clam Broth. We do not actually harvest the Clams nor make
the Clam Broth ourselves, so you can be assured no inhumane treatment of clams
is ocurring here at Mott's.
We definitely do not have anything against the Great Clam. In fact, although the
Clamato has very little Clam Broth in it, we still gave the Clam the main part
of the name! Quite the honor for the Clam!
I will send along some great coupons and recipes.
Cheers!
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I feel a little torn here. In one sense I am happy to hear that the noble clam is not being abused by folks at Mott's, I have been given no guarantee that clam-squeezing is not rampant in the company that makes the clam juice, or "puts the CLAM in Clamato," if you will.

As my wife put it when I told her my theory that "Someone, somewhere is squeezing clams": "Not for profit anyway". I thought that was hilarious. As a matter of fact, this could open up a whole new avenue of investigation: Non-Profit Clam Squeezing Organizations. They might even have pledge drives like Public TV.