Wednesday, March 27, 2002

Tired of getting sand kicked in your face?

You need the ridiculous abdo-stimulo-matic, that probably won't kill you with a series of exponentially increasing electric shocks to the abdomen, your screams growing louder and louder into the emptiness as you claw at your midsection in a vain attempt to free yourself from the devil machine, but might. Maybe.

It is almost perfectly safe, though not guaranteed to be a safe or even wise product to consider using for muscle growth. In the final analysis, this is what we're saying: if you want to grow some stomach muscles, and don't mind taking a risk that you could actually die as a result of using a muscle growth stimulating machine, then the ridiculous abdo-stimulo-matic is the potentially lethal product for you.

But you might die. Just remember that.

If you don't die, you will have some rock hard stomach action going on. Yes, sir.


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