Tuesday, March 05, 2002

Late-Breaking Dirty Office Chair Sale Update

They have now added another note on the really dirty and filthy (possibly even stinky) office chair. It reads "You must take this chair home if you buy it." This sparked many thoughts:

- Has someone offered to buy the chair, on the condition that they can leave it in the office?
- Do they think that this is going to make purchasing the dirty chair somehow more enticing, because they have to command you to take it with you if you buy it?
- Could this sign be useful in other areas? Like in the grocery store? I envision the condiment aisle: "You must take this Catsup home if you buy it."
- Is this really a problem? No one is going to buy that festering boil of a chair anyway.
- Maybe I should buy it and put it in various people's offices. It would become a sort of Monkey's Paw or Black Spot at my work. People would dread coming in, the fear growing with every minute they sit in traffic, thinking in a quavering inner monologue that borders on the mumblings of the insane: "It could be me today!" Then, of course, they would drive straight up the ice plants, off the freeway and head for Mexico, never to be heard from again.

Man! Is that chair dirty!


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