Someone stole our cactus.

My fantasy is that our cactus wasn't stolen at all, that it somehow became animate, and squeezed its cactus roots out of the pot, padded down the corridor on them like tentacles, pressed the button on the elevator and was gone, like the wind. The fact that the pot is also gone casts some doubt on this theory. Unless (and I realize this is rather unlikely), having squeezed out of the pot, it then decided to use the pot as a jaunty hat, not unlike a sombrero.

This was a big cactus. We had had it for over ten years, and it had been handed down to us by people who had owned it for years before that. It was probably 3 feet tall.

Maybe, at this moment, it is riding a horse, out on the plains. Maybe today it is free. Maybe it is even fighting crime.

But I know that's not true.

Some asshole stole our cactus. People suck.