Remember the old days of Wheel of Fortune? When the arguably dim contestants would have to choose their prizes in a weird Shopping Death-March?

I loved that.

They'd buy the trip to Barbados, and the marginally crappy car, or whatever, and then the panic would start to set in. Somewhere on that little storefront stage there would be a ceramic elephant magazine holder, or a jaunty leopard-shaped lamp just waiting for them.

Someone has wasted more time than was probably justifiable on a page about just that*. Including the enigmatic Chuck Woolery griping about the prizes: "Did you see that print up close? Do you like it? You're just being polite...It's better than the other Chagall that we had. It was seventeen lizards sucking on an orange..."

I think Chuck Woolery may have been hopped up on goofballs. God knows I would have been if I was the host of Wheel of Fortune.

Oh man! They even have a page on the sets, and music!



*It's a nice feature of that page that the navigation features the phrase "What's your pleasure?", calling to mind the friendly Cenobites of Hellraiser fame. A Cenobite game show is really a natural though. Contestants could earn different pleasures of unendurable agony. The catch phrase "I'll tear your soul apart!" would go over big in middle America.

Pinhead could host:"Oh yes, Mrs. Eleanor Johnson. You've chosen Barbed Fishhooks Tearing Into Your Soft Underbelly While Your Eyes Are Drilled Out for $1000. Oh the delight!"