Tuesday, July 23, 2002

So we made it to the Orange County Fair last night. We wandered around and saw some piglets that had just been born that day.

I was thinking while typing that sentence how perceptions change as you get older. In the old days, I would have been all about the Vomitron 5000 ride. But now, it's baby piggies. Hell, we didn't even go on any of the (potentially life-threatening) rides.

I did play a few midway games, and failed miserably. That's the point though really, isn't it? You know it's rigged. You might even know how it's rigged. But you still play for the sheer enjoyment of losing. I mean, who wants to carry around a giant stuffed frog for the next three hours. Not my wife, that's for sure. At least that's what she told me, as I wept openly after failing to score 190,000 points at SkeeBall.

One thing was shocking at the fair: No Aerosmith mirrors! I don't know what happened...if they just had a run on them or something, or the Steven Tyler Fan Club stole them, but there wasn't a one to be found. Sure, there were Playboy Rabbit mirrors and Jack Daniels mirrors. And the Thorny Rose mirror. That's a classic. But no Aerosmith mirror. It was a little scary.

Of course, my favorite feature of the fair was the Strangely Shaped Vegetable Contest. There were twisted carrots, lewd tomatoes, gargantuan oranges. Even some things that I'm pretty sure were from another plane, where the Old Ones sleep and grow disturbing tubers.

Final tally:
Churros consumed - 1
Midway games lost - 3
Carnies that growled at me - 17
People in the hypnosis show that were faking it - at least 6.

There won't be a quiz on that or anything. I just thought you'd want to know.


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