The Orange County Fair starts in a couple of days, and we live right around the corner from the fairgrounds.

What does this mean?

Carnies. That's what it means. Lock your doors and windows! Hide your cat! The Carnies is in town!

A number of things will be on the rise* for the next four weeks in our area:

The amount of Aerosmith being listened to
guys named Skeeter and/or Butch
Mysteriously long pinky fingernails
Tattoo tears
Shiftiness
Denim
Robitussin and/or Jasco consumption
Cackling
"The evil eye"
Drunken white trash fisticuffs
Generic cigarette filters
Late night lottery fantasies
Jam tampering
Piglet fondling



*not all of the above may actually increase. Although I'm pretty sure about the denim and the Aerosmith. The astonishing increase in value of the Spock plate is not typical, though possible.