Notes from the Dodgers - Giants game, July 20th 2002

1 - Do not, under any circumstances, lightly joke to your companions that Felix Rodriguez should hit Eric Karros in the head. When this actually does occur, you will feel really awful even though there is no way that was not a coincidence. I mean, right?

2- Leaving the game: That guy in the rusted out 1972 conversion van that made that illegal right turn? He gets that one. That's gravy. When you're driving a rusted out 1972 Dodge van, you get one illegal right turn every month. This is your moment. Shout out the window to the aggravated masses, "This is my right turn, man! I am guaranteed this turn! You can't take it away from me!"

My Life As An American Gladiator Untrue Factoid: in 1982, the State of California ruled that colossal no-hopers are guaranteed one illegal right turn every month until they get a better car, or are incarcerated for public drunkenness.