Every year, the first of December would roll around and the kids in my family would get an Advent Calendar.
Advent Calendars, of course, are little scenes of serenely happy German or Dutch people having Christmas celebrations. Also, glitter is involved.
Little doors are cunningly hidden in the scene with a number that corresponds to the date. You open the little door for, say, December 2nd, and you sigh appreciatively: "Ah! A smiling hedgehog."
Or maybe you'll say "Oh! A small whellbarrow filled with some orange things that could possibly be gourds."
The pictures were always the same. And I mean always. You'd have candles. Nutcrackers. Candy canes. Sailboats. They loved the sailboats. Sometimes a rocking horse. You could pretty much count on these things showing up in your calendar. I mean, if you hadn't gotten a candle yet, and it was getting towards the 20th, you had a candle in your near future.
And there's not a whole lot of suspense about the picture you'll get on the 24th: it'll be Baby Jesus. That's just fine. Not terribly fulfilling for a young agnostic like myself, but there you go.
So as the years went on, the arrival of the advent calendars would be met with less and less excitement, and eventually with bitterness. Who wants to see the same pictures, year after year*?
Of course, there is another variety of Advent Calendar, in whcih you trade the excitement of smiling woodland creatures for chocolates with pictures of smiling woodland creatures on them. True, it's not the best quality chocolate. It's kind of like eating a small brown crayon every day in December, a practice which I cannot with a clear conscience recommend.
My wife swears by the chocolate calendars but, being German, she is helpless to defend herself against the cocoa bean in all of its manifold guises.
*Besides the American movie-going public, that is.**
**I know, that was pathetic.
Pages
Blog Archive
-
▼
2002
(337)
-
▼
December
(19)
- My Life as an American Gladiator is on hiatus. I ...
- So Joe Strummer is gone. It's pretty pointless to...
- I would be remiss here if I didn't mention that my...
- Kikkoman Whackadoo Flash Video I'm not sure what ...
- Listen, Honey, if you're reading this, please don'...
- One more thing here: I can say honestly, unequivo...
- Dog-In-A-Shell [purloined on the sly from 50 Cups]
- Turkish Delight! We happened to be in CostPlus ...
- My monitor here at work is starting to fade out. ...
- UK Entrances to Hell Some real classics in here, ...
- Apparently, there has been a huge upsurge in the n...
- Once again, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for an...
- I've been walking around the office with my shoes ...
- Also, I have a new strategy for when I am question...
- Whenever I think of Saddam Hussein having "Weapons...
- You know what's a lot of fun? Oh. Wow, you're rig...
- Rapper Dentist Daddy & Hip Hop Dentistry Nothing ...
- You know how there are all these sci-fi movies and...
- Every year, the first of December would roll aroun...
-
▼
December
(19)