I arrived back from my road trip on Saturday. Trip-meter: 1026 miles.

That was Orange County to San Francisco to San Jose to San Francisco to Sacramento to Orange County in just about 2 days.

And what did I learn?

- There is no better place to be than Opening Day at Pac Bell Park. My wonderful and long-suffering wife procured tickets for us, for which she is assured a place in The Happy Hunting Grounds for all eternity.

- If you have been missing out on your favorite movies, just drive up the 5 Freeway at night. Families secure in the insular behemoth of their Excursion or Planet-Eater or whatever the heck they're calling SUVs now (I think Ford is planning the Sinistar soon) will oblige you by not only playing movies in their SUVs, but also thoughtfully driving 65 mph in the fast lane so you have plenty of time to watch on-screen antics as you swerve around them, hurling obscenities at their oblivious wheel-well. I swear to you, there was a stretch of about 5 lumbering behemoths, all of which had back seat TV screens going.

- I miss Bindlestick Billy. He lives too far away from me for a best friend.

- My nephew is still quite unreasonably cute, and now is heavier than my cat. The little guy has that strange perfect-Buddhist baby look where he looks about 6 months (which is what he is) and then in the next moment looks about 12. Then, just for a minute, he looked like he was 37 and had a full beard.