Tuesday, November 06, 2001

I'm sorry. I know I haven't posted for a few days, but I have been deeply involved in the assembly of IKEA furniture. I may have gotten a little too involved. At one point I managed to trap myself inside a Wall Unit for six hours, only freed when a kindly group of dextrous Swedes liberated me. So of course, that was a little traumatic, but the upside is that I am now totally modular and can be expanded to hold everything from kitchen utensils to an entire entertainment system, using only an allen wrench. My nose can be placed in up to four different positions, in case you're having company over and need that extra space. It also seems that my legs are now available in birch, beech or medium-brown veneer, which will be handy for assimilating into foreign cultures where birch veneer is the norm.

Thank you, by the way, for not including the shelf hangers in my wall unit packaging, kindly Swedes.


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