Wednesday, April 16, 2003

Oh. Also this last little while, while I was not here and was instead somewhere else, I had some chinese food. Namely Moo Shu Duck.

Moo Shu Duck is, of course, just fine, but it was the particular presentation of the dish that was so spectacular [readers of a weak constitution may wish to forgo the following passage and do something else. Maybe you could go for a stroll. Meet the neighbors. Maybe they'll give you pie. Then, after the pie, you could all go and fly kites together. I bet they have one of those bitchin' black kites with the spooky eyes. Doesn't that sound like fun?]:

The duck meat was laid out on a plate, with the drumsticks and the skin and all, but then, the coup de grace: the actual-and-not-fake duckhead itself was perched on the side of the plate, cooked and beakless.

That is some traumatic food right there.

I was with people of good breeding, so I was not able to indulge in a little whirling lazy-susan action with the cooked and beakless duckhead. It's really a good plan to figure out who gets to pick up the check: after the meal (presuming no-one has eaten the actual-and-not-fake duckhead*) you spin the lazy susan** thing in the middle of the table, and whoever the actual-and-not-fake duckhead lands on gets to pay. This could result in some sort of ritualized duckhead volleyball or "hot potato" type game in which the actual-and-not-fake duckhead is batted back and forth by frugal restaurant attendees***.

*I'm not saying there's anything wrong with eating a duckhead. If you really want to do that, you go ahead.

**Is that what you call the rotating circular portion in the middle of Chinese restaurant tables? I have no idea.

***I am certainly not condoning this sort of behavior. Volleyball with actual-and-not-fake cooked and beakless duckheads is probably wrong on multiple levels and against God's plan.


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