Monday, April 07, 2003

Oh man. Daylight savings.

My least favorite day of the year.

I had originally planned to try to hold off on setting my clock ahead, and just see if I could get away with it until Fall. I think if I could swing it for the first three months, the rest would be gravy. Sadly though, my scheme did not last long, as the wife set the clocks and the cat told me in no uncertain terms to "get with the program".

So I am at work with that fairly crunchy state of mind that comes from not sleeping all that well, and experiencing the crushing self-doubt that comes from the knowledge that one little hour of sleep can mess your shit up but good.

The My Life As An American Gladiator Fun Quiz That Is In Fact Only One Question Long:

Q: How many accidents will be caused today by people trying to reset their car stereo clocks while they are driving?
A: A lot.

We need to adopt some sort of world-wide standard for car stereo clock setting. I try to ignore the clock being wrong for as long as I can, but sooner or later, someone's going to get in your car and freak out on you. "ELEVEN?!" they'll say. "That's like, not right."

Of course, you don't want that sort of dramatic scene taking place in your car, so you have to attempt clock setting procedures. If your car stereo is like mine, chances are you will be faced with a faceplate that has lots of buttons whose meanings are ridiculously cryptic. I even have a button that says APN on it. What the hell kind of an acronym is that? I don't know what that button does. Frankly, I'm a little afraid to press it and find out. It could be Antimatter Potato Nibbler or something.

When I'm faced with an array of enigmatic high technology, I regress into "primitve man throwing rocks at the sun" mode and just wail away on the buttons. This is a similar strategy to the one I adopt when playing a "Fighting" video game like Street Fighter 2 or Microsoft Access: press all the buttons at once and hope things work out for the best.

Of course, I was stymied after five minutes working with the stereo. I saw some good results by pressing APN, APN, DISP + FM, but the wife informed me this was only a Foot Sweep and I would have to do better. I held all the buttons down for about a second and a half, then performed an elaborate manoeuvre in which I tapped the EJECT button repeatedly while alternating between the CD and AM buttons.

I am pleased to report that not only did I set the time correctly but I pulled off the rare Flying Dragon Kick, knocking my car stereo off the crumbling bridge, where it ended up impaled on the spikes below.


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