Wednesday, September 05, 2001

So what do you do with your lunch hour if you live an exciting, fast-paced life as TV's Kafkaesque? You watch text updates of the England-Albania World Cup qualifier and catch up on all the latest monkey collectable news. While all these monkey figures are wrong on more than one level, particularly disturbing is the Banana Monkey Votive Holder. That monkey is clearly not enjoying his role in the greater votive holding scheme of things. Added to this is the implication that 1) this monkey is dressed as a basketball playing monkeyfor no good reason. and 2) he seems to be suffering at the very least from monkey migraine headaches and at worst from the beginnings of monkey paranoid schizophrenia.

Another good one. Honor your loved ones by putting their photo in a frame featuring a monkey, and a rather bedraggled looking one at that.

Dear God.

And again. That is something to put on the nightstand. If there's one image I want to carry with me all the days of my life, it's a grizzled, homeless monkey selling apples to stave off his impending death. (note restraint involved in not referring to Dubya Bush in any way, shape or form)

More fine creations. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Chubby the Chicken.

No comment.

In the world of collectable crap, Raccoons come from eggs. That's the great thing about making collectables: logic and reason are not essential, or even desirable.

I leave you with a tasteful classic: Monkey Dressed as Sailor. It's fun!!


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