Saturday, January 24, 2004

The business continues.

I have been thinking this site needs livening up a bit. Maybe a wacky sidekick is the way to go. My first choice, "Guy Dressed as Mountain" from the Ricola ads was unavailable, though. My second choice, Slim Goodbody, is too distraught over the recent death of Captain Kangaroo. Where does that leave me?

Sidekickless. That's where.

Maybe I should look into corporate sponsorship. I envision My Life as an American Gladiator brought to you by Tostitos. I would be willing to eat a lot of Tostitos for some big corporate sponsorship payoff, I can tell you. Sure, they'll have to airlift my greasy, bloated corpse out of the house after a month of Tostito bingeing, but it'll be worth it. This site will turn into It's a Small World at Disneyland, which was a lesson for all of us in the evils of corporate sponsorship.

I didn't realize for years that It's a Small World was a big ad for Mastercard. The part at the end where all the multicultural dolls are tossing credit cards back and forth and gleefully signing their life away to credit card debt never hit home, until I got a little older and the horrible truth was revealed to me: sure, the English version of the It's a Small World song is all about living together in peace and harmony until your brain starts to dribble out your nose from the sheer cuteness and repetition of it all. But some of the other versions, they're not so innocuous.

Literally translated, the Burmese version heard on It's a Small World:

Buy buy buy buy
Waste waste waste waste
Leave your debt to your children.
My ox has escaped and savaged the village.
You need seventeen Mastercards.

I'm pretty sure on most of the words, anyway.


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