Shiver me timbers!

I almost forgot that today is Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Of course, everyone will be talking like a pirate all day, so I suggest branching out in new directions, such as talking like the saucy cabin boy who keeps the pirates' Rogers jolly on long sea voyages, or perhaps like a pirate who has been socialized into modern society but still allows his inner pirate out every now and then when he is at his most pensive and soul-searching.

Recommended activity: count people's teeth in your office and say appreciatively: "Arr, this one'll fetch a pretty penny at Long Farthing's Potluck Luncheon!", or "Haul 'im up the mizzen mast, lively now, this one's got the gingivitis!"

For extra credit points, get Scurvy or The Gout.

For extra Extra credit points, amputate your hand/leg/buttock and replace with a prosthetic replica of less than stellar quality.