Apricots. Dear god, there are so many apricots.

Our new house has a giant apricot tree in the front yard, which so far has yielded about 50 lbs. of fruit. That, my friends, is a whole lot of apricots. Imagine a pie that weighed 50 lbs. But instead of that pie, there would be only apricots. Apricots that stubbornly refuse to be a pie, unless you make with the crust preparation and all that baking stuff. That is what 50 lbs. of apricots is like.

Not easy on the bowels, either. Just a heads-up there for your bowels.This is not to suggest that I ate 50 lbs. of apricots in a sitting or anything. But I did ingest about 25 apricots one rakish Saturday, which ensured a good cumulative hour of quality time later that day. That is, of course, not something you should want to know about.

One exciting feature of having a big apricot tree in your front yard, and living in a neighborhood where there is a lot of walking of an evening, is that people steal your apricots. Frankly, I am more than happy for my neighbors to take a few sweet little morsels from the tree. Hell, they can invite some friends from out of state to drive over and grab a basket full. But the fun thing about it is that our computer room is right next to the tree, so we can see people getting all sneaky with the fruit.

One woman, who for some reason seemed oblivious to the fact that we were mere feet from her, glanced around as if she was planning a diamond heist, and then dove to the ground gathering up the fallen apricot warriors who no longer had a place on the tree. Of course, if she had asked us to pick some fruit, I could have told her not to take the apricots from the lawn, where an exterminator had just liberally sprinkled pesticide granules.

But hey, karma. right?