My Life as an American Gladiator is no longer on hiatus.

Unless I need another good excuse for not writing any posts.

What happened was that I went on vacation for a while, to New Orleans and the Alabama Gulf Coast.

My vacation taught me many valuable things:

- You can get enough boobie flashing on Bourbon Street real quick.
- Thunder on the Gulf Coast makes an exceptional alarm clock.
- Do not, under any circumstances, turn down the wrong street in small Mississippi towns. Listen to your wife. She knows where you should be going.
- Mint Juleps really do taste better on a plantation. We stayed at Oak Alley Plantation for a night, and that was probably the highlight of our trip. It's just amazingly beautiful, and you get the run of the grounds at night. The sight of the stars through a canopy of ancient oak trees is not something you want to miss. The plantation was featured in "Interview with the Vampire", if you are Rice-ly inclined.
- Do not fret when your return flight is cancelled. You will be upgraded to first class. Incidentally, while flying first class kicks a major and serious amount of ass, there's no way that the price difference is worth it. For any of you out there who may have been in Coach on a particular Continental Airlines flight, I sincerely apologize for calling you variously "a horde of steaming animals", "the common folk" and "vermin". I really didn't mean it, as I reclined to an angle you could only dream of, accepting yet another free cocktail from the stewardess.