Monday, July 26, 2004

The Difficult Year

And lo, it was My Life as an American Gladiator's third birthday.

All the animals of the forest gathered to mark this special day. All except the squirrels. They were demonstrating that the site was unfair to the squirrel population as a whole and never gave them nuts or acorns to help them through the hard winter months, when squirrels live in fear of hypothermia, due to their failure to understand the principles of polar fleece.

The squirrels eventually drifted to the periphery of the big shindig, feeling a little silly that their principled stand was keeping them from what looked like really, really good punch, if the drunken antics of the pine martens were anything to go by. They discussed whether it would be in their best interests to give up the protest and go have a little well deserved fun, or to try to lure some of the more easily led woodland creatures over to their side.

A compromise was reached whereby the squirrels would join the party, but not have any fun. And that's what My Life as an American Gladiator's Third Birthday is all about: squirrels pretending not to have fun.

So yes, now we are three. We've lived and laughed and loved. We're on solid food and almost potty-trained. If we were Scotch, we'd have a few years to go to be worthwhile.

Also, I'm turning the comments on for one (1) day.

Update: That day is now over. Thanks for your input and ideas about synergy and the future role of this blog as a leading provider of twenty-first century solutions for small businesses and large conglomerates both.

18 comments:

Artichoke Heart said...

I wish you a very happy third blog birthday, despite the semi-squirrel boycott and such. I'm tempted to say more, but hesitate on the risk of verging on the unseemly, so I'll just leave it at that.

Anonymous said...

Your blogs are some of the funniest pieces of art that i have ever read. and art they are. completely fantastic and worthy of praise and admiration. *applauds* i dont have an account through Blogger (or whatever site provider this is) and i dont recall how i came upon your blog site but i have not once regretted it. i bow before your literature and comic supremecy.

Liz
-TigrrBeth

Rory said...

Warning: Squirrel Punch May Contain Traces of Nuts.

dong said...

Happy 3rd.
You could still pass for 2, you have a healthy glow about you.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on your wonderful blog which always manages to entertain me and keep me from doing something useful for a few more minutes. Here is a tribute of things which come in threes. Number of leaves on an unlucky or common clover, days until Friday, number of toes I have left after that nasty threshing machine accident, number of prongs on the devil's pitchfork, and the number of sheets to the wind one can be. Yes I'd say your in good company.

--Sheryl (http://papernapkin.typepad.com)

KOTWF said...

Actual, honest-to-God comments? Say it isn't so!

Happy Birthday, Many Happy Returns, Jolly Good Fellow, etc.

Anonymous said...

?

Anonymous said...

you're really funny

Anonymous said...

Hey, happy blog-birthday!

--Vidiot

Anonymous said...

hahahahahahahahaahahaha

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday. As a nut, I appreciate that you keep the squirrels at bay, or at least deny them fun. You almost crack my hard shell with your sympathy for the fluffy brutes. Just remember, later they will be chattering about you behind your back. Offer them punch. Let them eat cake.

You've a great blog.

Anonymous said...

But now we are three, we know how to make that little shrieking sound that pierces your eardrums..... EXCAVATOR!

tj said...

YAY comments on MLAAAG.

yeah, I got nothing.

Anonymous said...

were we all as creative and funny the world would be more interesting

towerbrave said...

Your blog is one of the bright lights on this dark information highway. Cheers and Happy Birthday.

Anonymous said...

Happy Blog Birthday, and thanks for making me laugh.

Anonymous said...

still with us then?

Anonymous said...

tttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhppppppppppppppppppptttttttttttttttt

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