Monday, October 06, 2003

When people ask you the awkward "What are you thinking about?" question, sometimes it can be difficult to come up with a satisfactory response. Because, let's face it, most of the time you're thinking about pie or maybe who sang that Muskrat Love song you always have stuck in your head.

Because I like to help you and am convinced that one day someone will give me a huge reward for my good deeds, here's some stock responses that should get you out of trouble:

1. "a dog riding a bicycle."
2. "The biggest cookie eaten by anyone ever."
3. "The chill menace of Death. Watching, watching."
4. "Happy ducks."
5. "A magical tree that sings songs to children who are pure of heart. Children who are not pure of heart can cry as much as they want, but no songs from the tree. It is debatable how impure a child can really be, and without going into the whole issue of Original Sin and the sins of the father being visited upon the son, let's just say that this is a magical tree and knows what it's doing. Also, it's kind of mean to the children." (This is kind of a long response and should not be attempted except by seasoned professionals.)


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