Well, 29% of the vote is in here in California, and My Life as an American Gladiator is now projecting Rip Beefslab has won the office of Governor. Of course it was all a little confusing, and many people tried to vote variously for:

Brian Bosworth
That one guy from "Red Dawn"
Rae Dawn Chong (My Life as an American Gladiator is hypothesizing that there was some spill-over from the "that one guy from Red Dawn" camp, though this is largely conjecture)
Dawn (of Tony Orlando and Dawn)

When all the dust has settled, it will be important for us all to get behind Thump Assgrabber and follow him on his merry trip down the sewer pipes to the happy, money guzzling promised land that Pete Wilson fought so long and hard for. Why, it's almost as if Pete Wilson is back! But no, it's not possible that Brick Bicep is just a face, just a chump who has not even one clue about politics and is in fact just a mouthpiece for a gang of power hungry leeches.

Perish the thought!

Thank you, Arnold Schwarzenegger, for making California ridiculous once again. It fills me with pride to know that this is just the first step, paving the way for Republicans to oust any Democrat politician that they don't like.