News from the Baby Front

Oh my. The sleep. I remember the sleep.

I've been grabbing an hour's sleep here and there, while the wifely friend takes her shifts. Mostly, I've been watching just remarkable amounts of television, with the kid on my lap or next to me in her bassinet, my mouth hanging open, my chin and neck region a scraggly mess. Surrounded by burp cloths, Boppys, onesies, and empty coffee mugs.

I've also spent a lot of time marching around the room rocking her in my arms, which I highly recommend, and singing whatever song I can think of. Winners so far are:

• Johnny Cash - Sunday Morning Coming Down
• Social Distortion - Ball and Chain
• Lou Reed - Walk on the Wild Side (edited for tender ears)
• Brazil
  

The sleep deprivation is worth it, of course, because it gives you complete justification for doing really amusing things to your newborn daughter. When the newborns are asleep, they are really asleep. You can play with their arms, Walk Like an Egyptian style. You can flap their lower lip so it makes a nice little pop noise. You can, of course, call her humiliating names like Poo Commando, El Dribblo, and more.

So far things are as tiring as I expected, very occasionally more stressful than I expected, and overall just awesome.

We are keeping her.

I Guess We're Going to Have to Take Control

So, something recently happened. I became a dad for the first time. My daughter was born at 6.10 yesterday morning, and damned if she isn't the best thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

This probably explains why I'm sitting in a hospital, trying to keep my eyes open, watching Ghostbusters 2. I always seem to end up in front of the tv, viewing marginally amusing comedies at important life moments. The day I got married my best man and I sat in a hotel room, as the minutes ticked down until the big moment, watching My Blue Heaven. I regret to this day not saying to my wife during our vows "You could totally melt all this stuff!"

Or maybe the thread that links my important life moments is Rick Moranis. Could be worse, I guess. Could be Martin Short.

But back to the matter at hand. The Ghostbusters just animated the Statue of Liberty somehow, and I find myself with a little person sucking my finger. A little perfect person with long fingers and toes and grey-blue eyes, wearing a hat that makes her look like GloWorm.

I'm tired, and in love, and I see my wife in a new way. I'm so proud of her and our new daughter.

Can't wait to see what the next big life change will be. I better check the listings for Honey, I Shrunk the Kids just to be on the safe side.

Swearing

I wanted to say a few brief words about the inauguration today, besides "sucks to be the guy behind the big hat". That, I think, goes without saying.

What I really wanted to say was that I forgot how it felt to have a president that can make it through a speech without smirking. Who sounds like he believes the words he's speaking. Like maybe he even had a hand in writing those words. Who mentions Islam, Judaism, and even those who don't believe in any religion, and the importance of recognizing all those beliefs.

Look, I don't think Obama is some savior. I just think that he might among the best of us, someone wise, and that's who I want guiding the country. Not someone looking to line the pockets of his friends, fiddling as we burn.

For God's sake, not some simpering, smirking asshole. That's what I forgot about. How it feels not to have an asshole representing us to the rest of the world.

So, for now, until proven otherwise, let's enjoy the moment of seeing Barack Hussein Obama sworn in. Of seeing a non-white family there on the stage, for the first time. Let's just mix it up, and let ourselves hope, for a change.